Thursday, March 18, 2010

Gee Thanks

Thank you, republicans (sic) for trying to save us from the horror that is Obamacare. You just want everyone to be healthy don't you.

Thank you for saving thousands of women from the indignity of the annual Pap test and mammogram. We know those tests are really uncomfortable and messy. We understand how you want to save us from that. Sure. You are also saving many women from early diagnosis of cancer when treatment is most effective. Yeah, if we women really wanted to live like normal folks we'd never have been born female.

Thank you for saving me from the terror of the ophthalmologist exam that might tell me why my vision in one eye is blurry. If I had wanted sight for all my life1 I should have been born a Rockefeller, I know, please don't rub it in.

Thank you for saving me from the utter misery of the asthma medications that I cannot afford. Breathing is way overrated and everyone tells me that I look good in blue. I don't think that's exactly what they meant, though.

Thank you, republicans, for nothing. I'd never wish any of the illnesses suffered by the uninsured on you, I think I am above that. It would be nice, though, if you had learned a little more from your kindergarten teachers about manners, the truth and compassion.

1 I have a family history of macular degenration and a few symptoms that might indicate the early stages of that condition. It may also be a mild bout of optic neuritis. Or it may be something else. I'm saving up for a visit to the ophthalmologist.